Ups and Downs

My life is circular, there are countless of ups and downs that happens to me. I’m not used to have a habit or something that guarantees my success. I’ve tried many things and most of them failed. I have worked in many projects and I only got a small number of them that I honestly call successes.

But somehow the publicity that I got is when something good happens to me. For example, when I won an award, got an internship, or the media wrote something about me. Almost everybody has an image in their mind, that my life is just like what they’ve heard about me, or at least from their indirect observation of my life.

But the sad thing is, that they are only partially accurate. While I’m grateful that I could achieve the things that I always wanted, I do not deny that those are only the minor part. There are many more failures that I associate myself with, and only a handful of people know about it. And for better or worse, I still got the privilege that most people still view me positively.

I had failures in the past, and most are because of me. Right now, I also have things in my life that aren’t going well. And I believe that there would be more failures to come. Perhaps I need to start to embrace it as an inevitable part of life and move on, instead of filling my head with anxiety and fear